This column is dedicated to the needs of individuals in gaining balance and harmony in their lives. As Akans, we know that our help comes from Onyame (Almighty God), the Abosom and the Nsamanfo. We believe that Onyame is The Supreme Being, creator of all things, and his word is absolute; the Abosom (lessor gods) were created by Onyame to act on his behalf and were given certain powers to carry out that mission; the Nsamanfo (ancestors) are the custodians of the laws, customs and traditions of Akan society, are concerned about our well-being, and are in close contact with Onyame whose favor they enjoy in a special way. (For more information, visit the Spirituality page). Therefore, every article that appears on this page is viewed and applied within that belief system. I will write some of the articles and some will come from articles that I have read which I feel may be beneficial to you.

NANA SPEAKS...
ON FORGIVENESS

The New Year is quickly approaching...Much has happened to each of us during the past year that presented challenges of various kinds, all involving people. Some relatives--mothers, fathers, children, wives, husbands, significant others, sisters, brothers; some new friends, some old friends; some partners, some co-workers; some spiritual guardians, pastors, priests, you name them. No matter what the challenge, oftentimes, we came away feeling abused, misunderstood, used, disrespected, disregarded, hurt or angry; or as the young people say "dissed". Then, we should also take a look at the old wounds of hurt, disappointment, anger, frustration or other hurtful feelings or emotions that we are holding on to...have held it for years gone by.

Where are we putting all of those negative feelings? We are putting them in our minds, our bodies, our spirits. We are crowding those areas of our humanness with negative energy which causes clogging in our arteries, our throats hurt, pain in our stomachs, migraine headaches, even makes our feet hurt. We are causing blockages in various other parts of our anatomy that manifest as sickness in one way or another. Another question is "How can we, of sound mind, continue self-mutilation and self-destruction and create unhappiness in our lives?" We know that negative energy inside of ourselves creates negative experiences on the outside of ourselves, which is observed by all whom we are in contact. Others may not know the exact nature of the situation, nevertheless the negative impact of "holding on" cannot be hidden.

Not only are we impaired physically, we are compromised spiritually when we are holding on to negative energy. There is no way that the healing power of Nyame (Almighty God), the Abosom (the lessor gods) or the Nsamanfo (ancestors or spirit guides) will fully work with you if you are knowingly holding on to negative thoughts or feelings against a specific person or general groups of people. Yes!...when we ask, we sometimes (most times) experience assistance "anyway" because Almighty God is merciful to us, has a soft spot for all of our weaknesses. But, think about it, how much more could we receive with an open and clear vessel (mind, body and spirit)? We are not expected to be perfect in our thoughts and deeds; however we are expected to deal with that negative situation which we already know (or should know) hampers our spiritual growth and development.

Now is the time! A New Year 2001 is approaching. We have time to make that telephone call, to visit that person, to send a card, send a note, or in some other appropriate way initiate contact to say "I apologize for harboring those negative feelings towards you." It does not matter that you may feel that the other person or group was wrong. It does matter that you are still hurt or somehow have bad feelings about it. We must actively let it go, release it, not only speak the actual words saying to yourself and a spiritual partner, "I am letting go of the negative energy that I have carried too long against __________"; and, then, actively do something about it. We often say, "Child, I let that thing go a long time ago. I have moved on!" but find ourselves at every opportunity talking about it and re-living the situation with gusto. If we have truly let it go, there is nothing to talk about. It does not come up in our psyche as something to discuss on the negative side. If we talk about it at all, we are able to speak about positive aspects of the situation... about the positive feelings that came from the situation...about the love and positive understanding gained... about the honoring... about gratitude... about the good. We can see the person or group in another more intensely positive light. We can interact with the person or group in a positive way for the good of the whole community. Negativity breeds negativity; positive actions glean positive reaction. Mama said "You can catch more flies with honey than you can catch with vinegar!"

And, while you are forgiving others don't forget to forgive yourself! Usually, the emphasis is placed so much on forgiving others that we don't think about the necessity of forgiving ourselves. We continue (for days, weeks, months, years) to carry about feelings of failure, disappointment, regret, anger, fear, shame, guilt, etc etc etc. Carrying these heavy loads of negative energy towards ourselves likewise causes many serious problems ... health, family, work, spiritual, mental problems can all be traced back to negative perceptions of ourselves because of something that we did or did not do that we think we should have done better or should not have done at all. Understand that we are in human form and apt to make mistakes--intentionally or unintentionally. We are in the process of navigating this life on this planet which we do not know. However, as we begin to move on a spiritual path we realize that we also have a right to forgiveness. So, as you are forgiving others...forgive yourself! Write it. Say it. Sing it. Now is the time to tap into your spiritual reserves and resources; ask for assistance. Actively release it! Remember that holding on to any negative energy within ourselves only serves to block the blessings and positive energy that are trying to come our way.

Let's enter the New Year 2001 with New feelings about our challenging moments! Let us try, during the next few weeks, to clean up the negative feelings that we may be harboring. Nyame, the Abosom and Nsamanfo are waiting to help us uncrowd our minds, our hearts and our spirits with those things that are blocking the big blessings, our spiritual growth and development, and our peace of mind and happiness.

Love, peace and blessings to each of you during this holiday season.

Click here to read previous Nana Speaks articles.